1. |
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If my dog could talk he would probably say
“Get off your ass, you’ve spent too much time on the couch today”
And if the cat could speak, you know she wouldn’t say a word
But it’s what’s left unsaid that always seems to hurt
What if the weatherman said it’s gonna rain till it stops
It may rain a little, it may rain a lot
So you oughta do whatever you’re gonna do
And if it’s meant to be, all your silly dreams will come true
The microwave and the atom bomb are distant cousins
My popcorn’s gone
On New Year’s Eve, we’ll sing Auld Lang Syne
And we’ll drop the ball like we do every time
What if the weatherman said it’s gonna rain till it stops
It may rain a little, it may rain a lot
So you oughta do whatever you’re gonna do
And if it’s meant to be, all your silly dreams will come true
When the going gets tough, they say the tough it gets going
But the saying never indicates which direction they’re going.
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2. |
Breakfast
03:06
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I sit at the kitchen and stare out the window at two squirrels running through the yard
I presume them both lovers, chasing after each other
Though chances are, they are not
Then the one squirrel turns its head and looks me dead in the eye
As a hawk swoops down, lifts the other off the ground
And we both wave Juliet goodbye.
On the kitchen table, there’s a pile of junk mail
I pretend they’re postcards from exotic lands
This one’s from Howie, and he sent it from Maui
Said we should take the time to refinance
Then the skim milk pours down all over Cerealtown, for I am the god of Cerealtown
And the clusters unclust, and the bunches combust
And all of god’s oat children drowned.
See it is what it is, since it was what it was
Stains on the grain made by coffee cups
Kinda looks like Saturn, or a Death Star
With the knot in the wood and such.
Well the telephone rings, though it doesn’t really ring
These days it’s just a figure of speech
It beeps and it flashes, and it sonically harasses all the thoughts that I’d really like to keep
But you call just to say that you hope I’m okay
And quite frankly, I don’t know what you mean.
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3. |
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Well the room had gone quiet, all the cocaine was gone
Just a few worn out extras hanging out on the lawn
One reached in his pocket, he swore he had change
There’s a few new faces, but hell’s more or less the same
Passed out on the carpet, flea-bitten and stoned
We all came here together just to sleep here alone
Johnny awoke at the sound of the train
It creeps past the window, and hell’s more or less the same
There’s this frightened dog, yeah, he ran up the stairs
Just to bark at someone that he knew wasn’t there
You know the cat ate the trash but the dog took the blame
They’re both dead now, and hell’s more or less the same
So the cops they came in, they wouldn’t say for what
So we all just assumed what the other had done
Then the picture cried out, I swear I’ve been framed
They left the nail in the wall, but hell’s more or less the same
There’s this actress on the roof, to the chimney she’s tied
Auditioning for the role of Frankenstein’s bride
Lightning struck, her hair turned to gray
She’s still waiting for the callback, but hell’s more or less the same
Well I’d leave if I could but the back door is locked
Now I wouldn’t know what to do even if it’s not
I’ll call you sometime when the dude finds the change
We’re under new ownership but hell’s more or less the same
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4. |
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If you close your eyes, you can travel through time
Just pick anywhere that you like in your mind
Running through the woods with a childhood dog
A hand that you held, the hand that you loved
So I close my eyes and I walk with you
But the trouble with time is you can take a wrong step
End up somewhere you tried to forget
A broken bone or a heart that’s bruised
Sometimes I walk through the bad just to walk with you
So I close my eyes and I walk too far
Turn around and wonder where you are
So I woke up this morning and I got out of bed
Tripped on my pants and fell on my head
Found myself in 1992
Guess if I just keep walking one day I’ll find you
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5. |
Strange Bird
01:17
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There was this strange bird out on the wire
A peculiar bird, no he couldn’t fly
He snuck through the antenna of my RCA TV
And out the mouth of Walter Cronkite
I said, “Why’d you come here?” He said “Coca-Cola, Judas Priest, and Captain Crunch”
Then the strange bird put on this strange hat
So I showed him to the door and I wished him luck
I said, “Where you goin’?”
He said, “Algiers, to find Dwight Yoakam, and crack cocaine”
Then the strange bird tipped his strange hat
And walked off singing in the rain
Doo, doo doo, doo doo doo doo…..
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6. |
Nothing Much
02:25
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I been sitting in a hurricane like a notebook left in the rain
Waiting for the medicine to ease my pain, sitting in a hurricane
Just staring at this loaf of bread, beating a horse that’s already dead
Trying to remember what you never said, staring at this loaf of bread
Nothing much, nothing much
If you ask me what I’m up to
Nothing much
Just waiting for the ink to dry, teaching this fish how to fly
Staring at a picture of a piece of pie, waiting for the ink to dry
If you could see what’s in my brain, you’d probably label me insane
Pull out my teeth and have me detained, if you could see what’s in my brain
Nothing much, nothing much
If you ask me what I’m up to
Nothing much
So I’ll keep talking on banana phones trying to write a decent song
Tearing up the pages of a Rolling Stone, talking on banana phones
Nothing much, nothing much
If you ask me what I’m up to
Nothing much
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7. |
The American Life
02:31
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The American Life is French fries, flags, and hot dogs
Decorative explosions on mutually agreed upon days
In the cold 4th quarter, the family flocks to the shopping mall
‘Cause in America, we buy our blues away
You get the same Big Mac here that you get in Tacoma, Washington
You get the same Big Mac under the stars in Santa Fe
You get the same Big Mac out on vacation at the Hoover Dam
You get the same Big Mac right here if you just stay and watch it on TV
The American Life is franchised fear and cow milk
The American Life is the presumption that people are dumb
The American Life is fried chicken taking a political stance
It’s a church built like a stadium
So God bless your ignorance
Guess we are what we seem
The toothless attendant behind the Texaco counter
Has the saddest brown eyes that I have ever seen
Doo, doo doo doo doo doo…
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8. |
This Too Shall Pass
02:21
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You’ve got a heart that’s heavy like a suitcase at the airport that you wish you could leave behind
And every thought in your head is a piece of stale bread on the kitchen counter of your life
You catch yourself in the mirror trying to stand up straight
You exhale, your shoulders, they fold
And every song that you sing faintly rings of a story you’ve already told
But this too shall pass
Albeit like a kidney stone
This too shall pass
Like a freight train riding through the snow
This too shall pass, so slow, it don’t seem steady
Sadness it don’t leave you till its ready
I had a dream last night that I lost all my teeth and I was falling down a bottomless well
I awoke in fright in the middle of the night
What it meant yeah I couldn’t tell
So I went to the kitchen to make some coffee
The whole house it started to shake
A hole cracked in the floor and I fell once more and realized I wasn’t awake
But this too shall pass
Thought it may feel like a double dream
This too shall pass
Don’t you pay no mind to what it means
This too shall pass, so slow, so steady
Sadness it don’t leave you, sadness it don’t leave you
Sadness it don’t leave you till it’s ready
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9. |
Motel Room, Motel Room
02:14
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Motel room, motel room, you smell like Lysol and sex
The sex was not mine, I’m just sitting here watching the TV set
Afraid to go under the covers, for what lies beneath
But I supposed that’s an apropos metaphor for me
Motel room, motel room, shame is the name of our game
Whether you’re flipping tricks on a mattress or taking a ?
Fame is coming, I can hear her moan through the walls
Took her a while to get there but I suppose that’s true for us all.
Motel room, motel room, Motel room, motel room
Motel room, motel room, Motel room, motel room
Motel room, motel room, Motel room, motel room
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10. |
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You can climb to the highest cliff
Take your shoes off and jump from it
Park your car at the ocean at night
Leave your shoes on and wait for high tide
Oh, so many ways to die
Sit around and wait for old age
Or take a cue from Hemingway’s page
Close all the window and make a frozen pizza
Leave the oven door open, never eat the pizza
Oh, so many ways to die
You can do what you want, do what you will
Oh sweet mama, it’s your time to kill
Oh, oh, so many ways to die
Fight like hell just to live through the war
To slip on milk at the grocery store
Shot in the back by Billy the Kid
Or eat them pills like Anna Nicole Smith
There’s just so many ways to die
There’s just so many ways…
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11. |
Dallas 1963
02:13
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I had a dream, it was a scary dream
I found myself in Dallas November 1963
Watching the man from Massachusetts with his beautiful bride
In the back of a sweet ass Cadillac, going for a ride
Three shots rang out and that’s when I dropped the gun
And bolted down three flights of stairs and cried out, “My god, what have I done?”
That’s when I awoke, thinking I had shot the president
And she said, “Wait a minute, baby, you know you’re not Lee Harvey Oswald?
I know it seems real but it’s just a bad, bad dream
Why don’t you go out and sit on the front porch
And I can make us some coffee, we can talk about what it means.”
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Darrin Bradbury
Songster living in East Nashville.
Folk Satirist/No Point Storyteller
Travels Alot.
"Redneck Noir"- No Depression Magazine
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